Here at Perceived Limitation, we talk a lot about entrepreneurial success, making money and the psychology behind being an entrepreneur. But this time around I want to talk about the support network needed to succeed. Building a solid social support network is very important to your success. That’s why in this article I want to take a moment to discuss friendships. Because even though friends and family are important, that doesn’t mean you keep them around if they are toxic. Below I have laid out the top five reasons your friends may be toxic.
They Constantly Complain
Nobody likes complainers yet everyone seems to have that one friend who always finds something to complain about. As humans, we naturally take on the mannerism of the people we spend the most time with. Keeping the company of someone who is constantly spewing negativity will cause you to lose momentum and be drug down. Being around negative words and actions for an extended period of time will rewire your thought patterns and outlook on life. The sad part about all of this is that your complaining friend most likely doesn’t even realize that they are a chronic complainer. They spew their negativity all over everyone without realizing the damage they are doing to their own energy, mind and the others around them. If you have a friend like this you need to cut the cord for your own health. IF YOU ARE AN ENTREPRENEUR YOU NEED TO CUT THE CORD EVEN FASTER. Being an entrepreneur is hard enough as it is (I have said this more times than I can remember). You don’t need to be around negative complaining people, you need to be around people who support you!
They Don’t Support You
As entrepreneurs, we don’t have time to waste on people who don’t support us. Now please understand that it is OKAY for others to disagree with you. However, if you are spending time with people who are constantly shooting down your ideas with no real logical reason or never see the value in anything you say or dream about, then you have an unsupportive person on your hands. Additionally, not all criticism comes in such obvious forms. For example, family members will be some of the worst naysayers, not because they are trying to hinder you but because they are trying to prevent you from dealing with potential loss and pain. What they fail to realize is their lack of open-mindedness and fear of the unknown is coming across as a lack of support. As an entrepreneur, you need to overcome this criticism no matter how subtle or loud and find a better circle to associate yourself with! BUT, before you go cutting people out of your life please learn the difference between constructive criticism and negative criticism. If your friends and family are asking questions and offering ideas of ways to improve what you are doing then you need to be open to their feedback before assuming that they aren’t supporting you!
They Are Judgmental
There are very few things that feel worse than the shame brought on by someone else’s judgment. Being judged causes a drop in self-esteem, makes us feel uncomfortable and can cause an unnecessary need for acceptance. In life, we are taught that our enemies will talk about us and strangers will judge us. But what do we do when the judgment is coming from those who are supposed to be closest to us? When people pass harsh and critical judgment based on their own ideas and lack of understanding the emotional fall out can be catastrophic. As entrepreneurs, we depend on our friends and family to give us sound reasoning, critical feedback, ideas, and inspiration in a world that seems to be filled with so many naysayers. Unfortunately, this is not always the case. If you are in one of these circumstances you need to begin cutting the cord or at a minimum minimizing the amount of time spent with these people. There is no reason you should have to deal with unwanted judgment. As an entrepreneur, your journey is going to be filled with emotional ups and downs with some of the highest highs and lowest lows. In order to make it through this, you are going to need a solid social circle to surround yourself with and help lift you up.
They Criticize You
There is a stark difference between tactful honesty and criticism. Brutal honesty can be a good thing if used and voiced correctly. However, criticism can be detrimental to people and their psyche. You have a toxic friend if they are constantly bringing you down and criticizing everything you do, say and accomplish. Criticism tends to come from a place of low self-esteem and a need to project this onto others. Keep this in mind next time someone in your circle criticizes you!
They Are Inconsistent
Being in a positive and mutually beneficial relationship of any kind takes work from all parties involved. However, if one party is putting in more work than the other, than you may be in a toxic relationship. For example, if they only call you when they have a problem, or you are the one who is always going out of your way to set up a time to hang out, then you may want to reconsider why you put energy into this relationship. This makes your friendship hard to predict and can cause the other party un-needed stress. If you have someone like this in your life you need to begin cutting them out!
Toxic friends are energetically draining, hypocritical, and not worth your time. You’ll realize you’re never actually happy or relaxed around them because they don’t make you feel good about yourself. No friendship should be transactional, if someone is draining your energy, you should ask yourself whether you’re getting anything out of.
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